Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
