So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
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