dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
