But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
no you cant smoke seaweed
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
