So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
