everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
