im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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