we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
