I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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