he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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