If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
