the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
