Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
pop tarts are not kleenex
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My breasts were aching with rage.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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