your thong is hanging out like whoa
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
