Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize