we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
