He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
