i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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