Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Randomize
