your parents love me but you hate me
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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