Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He better not be in your backpack
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize