I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
