i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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