Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
