I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize