His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
