you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
