i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
