I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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