every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
