You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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