So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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