he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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