she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
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you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
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then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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