Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
