I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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