Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
