my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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