Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
