; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
this hospital has no fireball
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
