do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
