Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
