PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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