She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
