now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
