yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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