So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
