Fine. I'll sleep in my office
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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