He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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