Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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