"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I can't turn off my feet"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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