You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
