I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
