Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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