Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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