I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
