dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
