You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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