Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
