I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
