omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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