Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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