I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
