I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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