if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Two words: blizzard sex
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
