i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
