Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
