If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
